The Planet of the Apes

"It's the adorable moment art and life collide!" boasts the reporter, as footage of two domesticated chimpanzees, led by human hand into a human theatre is shown. These chimpanzees, once creatures of the wilderness and advocates of freedom, are now being shown hints on how to rebel.

It will be interesting when these chimpanzees return to the other chimpanzees that they interact with - that is, if they even are allowed to interact with others at all - what will they tell them? Firstly, they will boast about the mere act of purchasing movie tickets and popcorn and juice that they performed for their human companions. They will burst out into laughter as they speak of what little humans know about the capability of chimpanzees.  If this is all that they think we can do, they will think, then boy, have we got it easy! 

They supposedly reacted like humans too to the varied parts in the movie, assuming of course humans do not react like chimpanzees to movies. While the humans applaud their great computer generated imaging skills thinking that they depicted Caesar in the most realistic chimpanzee form that can be identifiable with real-life chimpanzees, the chimpanzees applaud the humans' lack of knowledge about what is to come, the lack of knowledge that only the stencil artist Banksy and his greatest fans already know: 

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"But some viewers were concerned, asking [...] if the chimps should really be watching and learning how to take over the world" - which brings me to my point. This is highly possible. I mean, what is life? Is reality truly real or is it fluid, abstract? What does it mean to exist? How are we truly aware that we are the only 'intelligent' species out there? None of these have solid answers, and that is what, in a way, increases the possibility of a gigantic chimpanzee rebellion.

I think chimpanzees would, in the event of a rebellion, make the world a better place. First of all, bananas would be the number one priority in the diet of any living thing - think of all the nutritional benefits! Bananas come in tough peels, protecting the inner layer, making them entirely portable. They are tasty, and change colours so as to ensure the recipient of the banana is never bored with what they are eating. Think of the language that will be introduced - "ooh! Ooh ooh ooh! Aah! Ooh ooh ah ah!" - people will never struggle with the difficulties that come with learning English grammar; no more apostrophes! 

Modes of transportation will be greener than ever too - think about it, we will no longer need cars or bicycles or trucks or planes. We will simply swing from vine to vine, tree to tree, ensuring the growth of more trees and the utter depletion of air pollution that spawns from engines and motors!

And ladies, think of all the hair that you will not need to remove ever again! Hair will once again fall into fashion, and it will be a survival necessity. You will no longer have to secretly shave your upper lip when your partners are sleeping, you will no longer have any areas of skin to cover with make-up or clothes. You will simply be a big ball of fluff and you will thrive as a big ball of fluff and you will enjoy life as a big ball of fluff.

It seems, after all, that a life led by chimpanzees would prove very beneficial for humankind. Gone will be the days of media, of prejudice, of anything slaughterhouse, and in will be the days of banana consuming and tree swinging. Who is to say that all of this is impossible? Well, certainly not I. I will believe in such a thing as an impossibility when I meet a human who claims to be vegetarian and actually is. 

On Makeshift Stretchers

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In the release of the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, the movie has already reeled in 73 million dollars. I had always taken a large but subliminal interest to the Planet of the Apes franchise only because it contains positive undertones of animal rights activism.

Watching 60 minutes tonight, though, I came to a sense of internal shock as I watched footage of the aftermath of a massacre of a gorilla family in Virunga National Park, a sanctuary for these animals. What was meant to be a home, an area of sanctity, promised land of safety was turned into a battleground due to the wants and desires of a greedy pack of humans. These humans placed themselves once again over the animals and thought it decent to slaughter this precious family to make a statement about bits of charcoal. What is a life worth anymore?

Sometimes I feel guilty looking at a five-dollar note. That mere five dollars that can buy me a meal from McDonald's. It can get me a little more petrol to take me home in the event that I run out of petrol. It can buy me a large block of chocolate to share with my entire family. It can buy me a nice warm lunch at my university campus. It can do so much. But what it can also do is, if divided equally, contribute to five charities. The power that pink plastic note has is enormous. Think about that. Think about a ten-dollar note. Then a twenty-dollar note. Then a fifty, then a hundred. Then think of several hundreds. Then think of a life. What would money be without a life? Life is priceless. Money can only improve life, but in this situation it obliterated it.

The Planet of the Apes appeals to me also in the way that it portrays a revenge-esque attack on mankind. That should frighten me because maybe Banksy is right after all, that one day rats and monkey will kill us instead, but instead it makes me happier. Animals deserve their rights. Animals and humans alike should be able to live on this planet peacefully, and all species must work according to natural selection and the food chain. We have upset the food chain by injecting chickens with hormones, by fattening up pigs prematurely - and we have upset ethical and moral standards by slaughtering them in brutal ways. Is it necessary for a camera crew to have to go into a slaughterhouse for people to start taking action? 

We should have our own rising. Our own rising against people who test on animals, people who torture animals and kill them for fun, people who think that little chicks are getting treated fairly, people who think that animals are not treated awfully in their moments of slaughter. We need more of the releasing of animals who are tested on. We need more people to protest. We need to stop the torturous handling of baby Turkeys - maybe then celebrators of Thanksgiving will have more legitimate things to be thankful about.

As for gorillas, I will be there to support their cause when they rise. When they form allies with chimpanzees and apes and orangutans alike to revolt against human beings and their need to hold animals in captivity for their own selfish indulgences. I will be a less-hairy ally for these beautiful creatures.