Lecture Selfies

source

One would fall under the assumption that three years into a bachelor that exists to create teachers out of moderately young people, also considering those people have paid over twenty-thousand dollars thus far, those people would start taking their lectures seriously. 

One would then come to the realisation that this is, surprisingly, not the case. It is difficult to comprehend that this is so, and it is difficult to believe me when I say that it is, as your mind falls into denial about the fact that these people will one day educate your daughters, sons, nephews and nieces. But do believe me, for today I witnessed something that I had to sacrifice half the attention time I give to my lecturer just so I could observe it again and again to ensure that my mind was not being devious by playing tricks on me. Alas, it was not, and I cannot believe what I saw despite it being utterly real. In fact, it happened right next to me the entire time. 

Had I not relocated to the back of the lecture, I would not have witnessed this occurrence. Thanks to the air-conditioner being blasted in the lecture theatre in the icy coldness of winter, I had moved away from my comfort zone. Nevertheless, I was able to witness this bizarre act - the act of the girl seated beside me continuously and repeatedly sticking her arm far out in front of her, holding her phone tightly so as it will not fall, the camera aimed at her face. The girl then proceeded to reach her little thumb out from the side of her phone, aim it directly in the bottom-center of the screen, after which she began to, in an unabating manner, take photographs of herself.

I should not be talking about a fellow peer in this manner, I accept that we live in the twenty-first century and that because of iPhones we are the most narcissistic generation; I should be able to empathise for her, because not only was it a difficult job to get out of bed at eight in the morning and drive to university wherein she had to merely sit and passively accept all of the lecture information being thrown at her - my, what a daunting and tiring thing to do - but she also had to tear herself away from her reflection. Her mirror in the meantime sat all alone at her home so it was only natural for her to revisit it temporarily on her phone.

I should let you know, however, that I acted worse when I was in my first year in lectures. I would conduct Skype webcam chats with my overseas friends and I would have bubblegum chewing competitions and I even turned up drunk off my face for one lecture which happened to be the funniest thing, after attempting to make it up the lecture steps without falling down from laughing too much, because my lecturer that day had decided to play an old video where there were Amish people singing about tradition - mix that with an excessively happy drunk, and chaos ensued. 

However, let me reinstate that that was my crazy behaviour in my first year. My first year was a pathway course equivalent to the first year of my bachelor and I only had this sort of fun when nothing important was happening. Now, let me add the contrast: this girl is in a burst subject that occurs over five days, at the cost of $750. Each day contains four-weeks worth of material, which means each lecture is two-weeks worth. Because of her dire need to photograph herself on Snapchat to show the visual of her geographical location, this girl threw away one-weeks worth of learning. She had the opportunity to throw away thirty-minutes worth in her first year like I did.

It just interests me at this point in time. It is so fascinating but also frightening. These people, who have not the ability to lengthen their attention spans over the course of our bachelor, will have their VIT certificate at the end of next year, which means that they will be literal educators. They will be taking a stand as role models for children. They will be yearning for attention, screaming at students to hark. It will be an interesting display - especially when it comes to long meetings and assemblies; I wonder which teachers will be the last ones standing. 

Different Hairs and Their Growths

I posed a question upon a peer who did not envisage in her wildest dreams the question asked to ever be asked out loud or in her direction, with the asker, myself, awaiting a legitimate response. I asked her if she thought there was anyone on this planet with armpit hair long enough to plait.

And that sparked a new journey of inquiry, one of which I am delighted to partake in because I imagine, like that unsuspecting peer, a scarce amount of people would step out of the box every now and again to raise questions like this without holding back. Surely enough, the entire lecture theatre's attention was brought to me and judgements were made, but I can very well assume that nobody knows the answer, which is why they all laughed and gave me weird looks instead of explaining why hair on different areas of our bodies stop growing whilst others continue, for example, our pubic hair and the hair on our head. What stops our pubes from growing down to our knees? What is it that drives the hair on our heads to continue growing?

Hair growth takes place in three stages, the first being Anagen, the second Catagen, and the third Telogen. Through each phase, the length of the hair within it is determined, and hairs may depending on their moods switch phases. Our hairs do not have moods, per se, but it is easier to comprehend those stages if they were contrasted or aligned with human characteristics, which we all understand the most. These three stages, phases or cycles, depending on which synonym you prefer, promote the hair growth of 1.25 centimetres a month, which amounts to about 15 centimetres per year.

The first stage, Anagen, is the growth phase. It can last from two to six years. Hair growth in this stage depends on genetics, so in my case, because of my Lebanese heritage, I am supposing that my hairs last in this stage for about seven years, defeating the estimated length of the phase because Lebanese hair is everywhere and it simply does not stop growing. And while the hair is in the Anagen phase, it will grow faster and longer, so that fact simply aligns with the rapidity of Middle-Eastern hair growth. Trust me, I am an advocate for it. At any given time, 85% of the hairs on our heads are in the Anagen phase. That explains why the hair on our heads do not stop growing, apart from that stubborn 15% which are more likely to frizz and stand during important photoshoots. 

In the second stage, the phase of the Anagen is stopped by the sending of signals to certain hairs, and the Catagen stage begins, wherein the hair follicle renews itself - just when you did not think your hair would become any stronger, you were wrong - check yourself before you Catagen yourself. During this period of two weeks, the hair follicle then shrinks and cuts its long hair strand away from its nourishing blood supply. The follicles going through Catagen simply loathe being overshadowed by the big, buff Anagen's hairs, so in intimidation, in this fight or flee situation, they do what any wild Pok'emon that you really need on your Pok'edex do - flee; they send off their beautiful locks of hair and stay immobile in your scalp. They are then what Katy Perry sings about, 'the [hairs] that got away'.

These intimidated follicles then go through their final phases, the Telogen phase. During this phase, the follicles lay dormant like stubborn volcanos, for a period of one to four months - Middle-Easterners experience this for a maximum of one month, because our hairs enjoy moving on and strengthening. Those obstinate 15% of hairs in the Anagen phase are going through the Telogen phase - temporarily anchored in place, they choose to wear Harry Potter's invisibility cloak. When these hairs wish to be seen again, they break free like Queen and shed, soon after growing again into the Anagen phase.

But that does not really explain the varied lengths of varied hairs, does it? Well, there are two types of hair other than the hair on our heads - the Vellus, and the Androgenic. The Vellus hairs are those which appear to be blonde, but are the same colour as any hair on Middle-Easterners. These prepubertal hairs are located anywhere except for on the palms of your hands, on lips, on the back of your ears, the soles of your feet, some external genital areas, and on your navel or scar tissues. Some of these go on to develop into Androgenic hairs or terminal hairs once puberty is reached, wherein hair darkens and thickens. 

Vellus hairs, their name originating from the Latin word fleece, grow from 2-4 centimetres long, and do not exceed that length. They insulate and cool our bodies, like feathers birds. They assist us in perspiring, which is not really any assistance at all especially during meetings or important interviews. Androgenic hairs, on the other hand, grow during puberty and thicken depending on gender, rather, hormones - because males have more androgen, hence the name, in their bodies, they have much more Androgenic hair than females. The image below shows the general distribution of Androgenic hairs in males and females:

source

The following is the period of growth in the three stages for head hairs and other hairs:

Head Hair

Anagen: 2-6 years

Catagen: 2-3 weeks

Telogen: 3 months

Eyebrows and other hairs:

Anagen: 4-7 months

Catagen: 3-4 weeks

Telogen: 9 months

From the observation of the period of growth table above, it becomes clear to us that the reason as to why the hairs on other parts of our bodies do not grow as long as the hair on our heads is because during the phases that they go through, they take less time, thus there is less time for growth. In the Anagen phase, the hair on your head grows from two to six years, whereas hair everywhere else only has four to seven months of growing time before becoming dormant and stubborn. In the Anagen phase, hair grows 1 centimetre every 28 days, which means that the hairs on our head grow from 26 to 78 centimetres before they become dormant, and hair everywhere else grows only 4 to 7 centimetres before they become dormant.

Had somebody explained this to my not-so-seriously-posed-and-quite-satirically-delivered question, then I would have not gone through this strenuous effort to give you an explanation about this inquiry. You are quite welcome. Consider this informative satire. And to answer my question, no, there are no such humans which can grow armpit hairs long enough to be able to plait them.






References

Hair Follicles:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hair_follicle

Androgenic Hair:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgenic_hair

Vellus Hair:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vellus_hair