The Critical Unpacking and Rewriting of the Australian Anthem

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Australians all let us rejoice,

For we are young and free;

We've golden soil and wealth for toil,

Our home is girt by sea;

Our land abounds in Nature's gifts

Of beauty rich and rare;

In history's page, let every stage

Advance Australia fair!

In joyful strains then let us sing,

"Advance Australia fair!" 

When gallant Cook from Albion sail'd,

To trace wide oceans o'er,

True British courage bore him on,

Till he landed on our shore.

Then here he raised Old England's flag,

The standard of the brave;

With all her faults we love her still,

"Brittannia rules the wave!"

In joyful strains then let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!" 

Beneath our radiant southern Cross,

We'll toil with hearts and hands;

To make this Commonwealth of ours

Renowned of all the lands;

For those who've come across the seas

We've boundless plains to share;

With courage let us all combine

To advance Australia fair.

In joyful strains then let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!" 

While other nations of the globe

Behold us from afar,

We'll rise to high renown and shine

Like our glorious southern star;

From England, Scotia, Erin's Isle,

Who come our lot to share,

Let all combine with heart and hand

To advance Australia fair!

In joyful strains then let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!" 

Shou'd foreign foe e'er sight our coast,

Or dare a foot to land,

We'll rouse to arms like sires of yore

To guard our native strand;

Brittannia then shall surely know,

Beyond wide ocean's roll,

Her sons in fair Australia's land

Still keep a British soul.

In joyful strains the let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!" 

In yesterday's post, I feel like I touched a little too briefly on the Australian anthem and its many wrongs and hypocritical statements and how it should be changed, so I thought that I would take the time today to unpack it critically, and to rewrite it into something more accurate to Australian culture.

'For we are young and free;'

I did not know that existing in Australia deems one immortal and liberated from the law. I did not know that the Aboriginal people were free to do what they want when the settlement occurred, and I certainly did not know that young Aboriginals were not kidnapped, forced to assimilation and were later known as the 'stolen generation'. 

Our home is girt by sea;

I am one of the lucky people in my family to live well near the coastline, wherein all I ahve to do is drive a maximum of ten minutes and I have full exposure to the wonderful Williamstown Beach. Another five minutes, and I have Saint Kilda Beach. Seven minutes closer is Altona Beach, and thirty minutes further is Brighton Beach - ultimately, I have a lot of beaches closeby. However, the majority of the population begs to differ, so no, 'our' home is not necessarily girt by sea. And it is not 'our' home to begin with. If you argue that it is, then is it okay for me to barge into your luxurious double-storey home and claim it as mine because it is on a part of soil that has no sign, and assimilate you to my Lebanese ways? No? Why not? That is what happened to the Aboriginals, is it not?

When gallant Cook from Albion sail'd

How was Captain Cook in any way 'gallant' if he had feared the Aboriginal people? Was his claiming of the entire east coast of New Holland as his own despite the lack of permission of the original inhabitants 'gallant' too? I think a more accurate word choice is 'thieving'.

True British courage bore him on,

Till he landed on our shore.

What is it, exactly, that defines 'true' British courage? Is it the fact that the Queen would have his head if he dared not claim this new land in her name? And who is 'our' referring to in here? Did, at the time, Aboriginal people see him as a courageous British man who landed on their shore? And if 'we' claim ourselves to be 'Australian', then how come we still associate ourselves with Britain? Are we not 'gallant' enough to liberate ourself from Miss Elizabeth's rule?

The standard of the brave;

With all her faults we love her still,

"Brittannia rules the wave!"

So the 'standard' of being 'brave' is to invade another territory and claim it as your own despite the current inhabitants clearly inhabiting it? Am I 'brave', then, if I walk into K-mart with a flag that I design and place the flag in the middle of the store and shoot all those who attempt to escort me now because I own that part of land? Would that be a sufficient amount of standard for my darling the Queen? And with 'all her faults' they still do not acknowledge the fault of stealing land, because that happened. It only comes naturally that the buffoon who wrote this anthem then includes '"Brittannia

rules the wave!"'; yes, let the 'gallant' Brittannia rule the wave and take not into account its original rulers.

We'll toil with hearts and hands;

I can guarantee that the entire generation of Australians under the age of twenty are living on Centrelink pay with their parents and "can't be f*cked" getting out of bed in order to 'toil with [their] hearts and hands'. In fact, the only thing they will use their hands for is to acquire and prepare the use of illicit substances and alcohol and rolled up cylinders of tobacco.*

Renowned of all the lands;

Yes I suppose we are spoken about by many people, and not for the right reasons either. For one, Americans think that we eat Vegemite by the jar-full, they think that we ride Emus and Kangaroos to school and that we treat Aboriginal people in a similar way to the treatment of African-American people back in the times of segregation and the Apartheid. Well, they certainly are right about the last claim. We should not be proud of that.

For those who've come across the seas

We've boundless plains to share;

This is probably the most inaccurate statement in the entire anthem. I highly doubt that our Prime Minister Tony Abbott has any plains to share. In fact, I bet that as a toddler he did not share his toys with his playmates. He probably headbutted them into the sandpit and made sure they stayed there until their parents came to pick them up. We do not share, and we do not accept any visitors unless they can benefit our economy. Other than that, off to another island they go.

With courage let us all combine

To advance Australia fair.

Of course, those of us who seek out the ways of social justice truly need courage in case an Australian equivalent of Putin makes sure that nobody protests against the ways of this 'advanced' country - sure, we have advanced past the recognition of our massacring past.

While other nations of the globe

Behold us from afar,

We'll rise to high renown and shine

Like our glorious southern star;

The Southern Star technically belongs to the milky way. Apart from falsely claimed land, I do not think 'we' really own anything here, unless we are speaking of shame, in which case we own a lot of that. Or a Southern Cross tattoo. A European man named João Faras was able to depict the Southern Cross properly and guess what? He is not Australian. Nor British. Nor a convict. And sure nations 'behold us from afar', who wants to associate themselves with a bunch of bogans who think ill of the original land owners of the place they call home?

From England, Scotia, Erin's Isle,

Who come our lot to share,

Oh, yes, by all means, I am sure that in this day and age there are a lot of Australians willing to share 'our lot' of land. Exactly how much land is theirs to begin with?

Let all combine with heart and hand

Yes, I am sure Tony Abbott wants to hold your hand and listen to your third-world problems after you have gotten off the boat, which you gave the last of your life's earnings to be able to sale on. He has prepared you some tea, too, following the customary British tradition.

Shou'd foreign foe e'er sight our coast,

Or dare a foot to land,

We'll rouse to arms like sires of yore

To guard our native strand;

Brittannia then shall surely know,

Beyond wide ocean's roll,

Her sons in fair Australia's land

Still keep a British soul.

So then, I think it fair to agree that Tony Abbot has an ice-cold British soul. Well done, Abbott. Well, it makes sense that he acts in this way since he was born in the United Kingdom. Hey, Australians! You also do not own your own prime minister!

So, without any further ado, here is my revised edition of the Australian anthem:

Australians, all, let us unite

and acknowledge the land's original owners.

We know that Cook was the Queen's slave,

so dare he misbehave?

He claimed the land and nature's gifts,
killed most of the inhabitants too,

let history's page depict this age
of massacres, thievings and kills!

In shameful whispers, let us confess
"Australia is unfair!"

When thieving Cook from God knows where
came to Australia in his great big ship,

he landed on the shore and waved his flag,
and claimed it all as his.

he scared Aboriginals and scared the animals,
he considered them all part of the fauna,

and with the Queen in mind, he ensured mankind
trodded over some more inferiors!

In shameful whispers, let us confess
"Australia is unfair!" 

We don't even own the Southern Cross,
but we won't come to terms with that!

In fact the only thing we only really own
is Vegemite, thanks to Cyril Percy Callister!

For those who've come across the seas

Tony Abbott waits with his navy!

With weapons and deportation notices at the ready,
he ensures you have a quick stay!

In shameful whispers, let us confess
"Australia is unfair!"

While other nations of the globe

shake their heads at us from afar,

We'll drift in our Commodore utes, flip the bird,
with an arm that's tattooed with the southern star;

From England, Scotia, Erin's Isle,

we came as chained convicts!

We never respected the Aborigines
and still treat them like sh*t!

In shameful whispers, let us confess
"Australia is unfair!"

Shou'd foreign foe e'er sight our coast,

Or dare a foot to land,

We'll rouse Tony Abbott from his parliament perch

To guard our native strand;

All the lands shall surely know,

despite our claims that we accept diversity,

Her sons in "fair" Australia's land

are racist Aussie sheilas and blokes!

In shameful whispers, let us confess
"Australia is unfair!"

*note: this does not apply to all young Australians - this is an exaggerated and satirical take on the Australian anthem, please do not ask for me to be shunned from this gallantly claimed island.

Banksy: Wall and Piece

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Sometimes I think that I am one of a few who knows about Banksy, and admires his clever work. Today I sifted through tonnes of layers of dust and things after having moved two heavy freezers just to access his book, Wall and Piece, which I needed for an English assignment.

Finding it was like finding the holy grail of books. Not only did I save another sixty dollars from not following my alternative method of acquiring the book - buying it again - but I felt my artistic insides come alive again because I had lost access to this amazing book years ago when we moved houses. This time round, I am not letting it out of my sight or reach. What is contained within is a seemingly endless amount of his art pieces scattered around the world, and two most significant locations, the Louvre and the Tate. It amazes me how Banksy, dressed as ridiculous looking as he had, wearing a large conspicuous fake beard, a fedora and a long tan raincoat, photographed above, had managed to enter the galleries and paste his own canvases and plaques on a wall or two and walk out.

I still admire him for being able to pull that off. That is not the only reason I admire him, though, as astounding as that was. I admire Banksy mainly because he creates works of utter inspiration. To this day, for three years, I have not been able to rid my mind of one of his haunting stencil pieces which depicts an African child dying of malnutrition wearing a Burger King cardboard crown. As simple as this stencil may appear because of its simple lines, it says so very much, and will not escape my mind because of the brutal truth behind it all. We still manage to go about our daily lives, chasing material objects and we still forget that despite our first-world problems, there are people out there living in third-world conditions, barely.

In fact, I do not think most of us even consider the bad side of things at all. On my recent teaching round, I was faced with students who could not formulate their opinions on domestic violence against women, nor could they believe that it exists. Though this problem was spoken about in a first-world context, it saddens me how third-world contexts are barely touched upon. People are unaware of the ugly things in the world and I thank Banksy so much for attempting to make them known. Authoritative responses to his work have been that graffiti is a form of vandalism - I think that rather it is a form of communication safer to express, if you are not caught, that says quite a lot. The saying 'a picture tells a thousand words' is definitely true in the case of Banksy, and that is why I believe he should be appreciated more.

Rather than your average photographer, Banksy puts a lot more effort in producing controversial works of art which bring up things we shun. Though most of his works are satirical, others have significantly disturbing undertones. I value these undertones because as aware of things as I am, they make me aware on a much deeper level, which is of importance in a society so used to complaints. Australians complain about Prime Minister Tony Abbott because of his misogynistic views and his refusal of gay rights, yet we do not see Russia's Putin and his overly misogynistic views and total refusal of gay rights, let alone gay people. We are blind to how homosexuals are treated by homophobic Russians, both civilians and the authorities. I think if Banksy were Australian, he would make that clear to other Australians.

Though he uses generally informal ways to bring forth his opinions, Banksy appears to be a learned person. His wit in his captioning within Wall and Piece prove that he is quite erudite. His works are a display of his highbrow nature, and the fact that his identity is still hidden from most people, especially his fans, juxtaposes with the ideas of fame - one needs not be seen to be seen on a deeper sense. I take comfort in the fact that although I have not met him or seen him, I have done so by observing his work. The world needs more people like Banksy because unlike the media, he delves into important things that the world has evaded.