Alcohol-free Birthday Parties

In light of the three consecutive birthday parties which I will be attending starting from six pm today, which currently allows me less than one hour to prepare my physical image, including one disastrous and boring party likely to consist of food poisoning, one Onesie party wherein I will be dressed in a zebra onesie likely to consist of Korean food poisoning, and one surprise party likely to consist of starvation, and because of the fact that these three parties, all of which are alcohol-free and thus seemingly repugnant, I will base today’s essay on exactly this: my tortuous weekend that will be lathered in Korean-based foods and screaming children and other foods which I will dare not approach and an ultimately crazy endeavour which most people my age do not bother to consider seeing as alcohol is evident in most parts of our lives and we would much rather take part in those parts of our lives than the unattractive latter, however the reason as to why I choose to take part in the unattractive latter only exists because I currently have no other choice, mainly because my life has, since my Education degree, spiraled down a path which is dominated by children, and seeing as though I have a Working With Children Check, that is totally, according to the Australian law, acceptable.

This essay, also, posing a challenge to myself, will only be written in this manner: one sentence as a paragraph – this will allow the entirety of this essay to be quite interesting; in fact, I do not think anyone has, prior to this moment in time, attempted to write an essay as such, let alone any entertaining essays for entertaining purposes during a university holiday break period, for an essay in this context and form will most likely cause complications to both the writer and the reader – the writer in that they must squeeze their brainpower into the extraction points at the end of their hands, which are the fingers, and lure the brainpower extracts all over the keyboard in a sense-making manner to produce an essay – and the reader, in that they voluntarily, of course, choose to read the essay provided and strain their own brains at the fact that the writer could write such an essay and the fact that their minds could comprehend such lengthy and slightly complex sentences which exist for aimless reasons and aimless reasons alone – with that said, though, I will plough through this essay effortlessly because in actuality, my mind speaks, internally, in a manner like this: I write clumps of pieces in my very mind before it actually reaches a piece of paper or some sort of technological platform, so that it reaches either ones of those destinations with some ease, and that, my friends and fellow readers, is how my mind is capable of absorbing all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, and releases them in an orderly, or slightly orderly fashion, to create something witty and remarkable and interesting, and hopefully, entertaining.

Now, for the entertaining essay – I cannot believe that I have brought myself to twenty-two years of mostly clean events which have thus made me the geeky estranged yet approachable nerdy girl I am today; with a genuine and everlasting love for all platforms of technology, especially the video-game sort, and an open-mind to all things which do not mostly circulate around a stereotypical girl’s life, and the ability to laugh horrid things off and remain positive in varied situations which make this a problematic and challenging thing, I believe it  makes it easier for different types of people branching from different age groups, to get along with me, which is mainly why I have chosen a future career like teaching or lecturing, both of which spiral in the educative sphere of the world and its works – most scoff at my choice when I reveal it to them, and imply that I probably do not have what it takes to hold down a class of, on average, twenty-five or more students, pre, during and post pubescent, but I scoff back because when I recall my endeavours, be it as simple as attending the movies, with my cousins, who are at varied age levels, I do it all quite well – how, though, this proves anything, seeing as though my amount of cousins in Australia is much lesser than the amount in Lebanon, is that when I actually had teaching placement last at three different schools with three different grades, albeit in only primary school which is a level arguably more difficult to control, I proved myself right – and my cousins, most of which are in secondary school at the moment, all get along with me exceptionally well, so from that evidence I can predict that my secondary school teaching experience will also be controllable and vibrant at the same time – with that all said, though, I think I will find the three consecutive birthday parties this weekend slightly more enjoyable – for the most I am around children and teenagers, the more I learn about subtle ways to control them – I mean, I was one once, and a rebellious one in my mind because my displayed personality was that of a shy and obedient one, so I know more than a thing or two about behavioural control in male and female teenagers.

In the duration of these parties I will be in an observing state of mind, and an acting state of mind, partaking in different activities with children, some far younger than me, whilst surrounding myself with brief talks with parents who unfortunately do not match my level of intellect or would even bother because most of them simply have no level of intellect due to their higher interest in other things like watching Arabic news or cooking or cleaning their house or drinking coffee whilst gossiping about their neighbours pet goat which tried to jump the fence and consume their much-loved gardening patch which has vegetables such as cucumbers and parsley and fruits like peaches and nectarines and all other lovely home-grown fruits and vegetables – these types of people do not interest me as much as I interest them, which is mainly why I avoid most types of human contact with most types of people who would much rather conform to the boring ways of society than stand out and be vibrant and truly happy, but that in itself is another story and possibly another entertaining essay – what I am trying to say in this essay, though, is I will enjoy myself in every single way, be it that there is no alcohol or Ouija boards, although there might be scary movies involved, and I will indulge myself in the indefinable thing that is life and the debatable thing that is a social life.

I would like to conclude with wishing everyone a safe and fun weekend, one that is filled with those you love and those you hate because a balance is good in any circumstance, and I would like to wish my fellow Americans a Happy Thanksgiving because it is good to give thanks seeing as most every human is rude and selfish and probably never does, and if you have made it in reading this far I surely hope you did not hold your breath in each paragraph because, let’s face it, you would not have made it this far – now, I am off to shower, do my hair and dress up, and attend the first party late because everyone else simply decided to turn up early – goodbye!