Festivities

The importance of celebration is of high means, and has remained so for hundreds of years. For years, humans have clustered together with loved ones to celebrate, collaborate and enjoy.

And year after year I find myself feeling less and less celebratory. The rush, the unnecessary gifting, the never-ending feasts, the loud noises, the repetitive carols and music, the silly gift-wrapping paper with a jolly fat man printed on them. I am just well and truly over the idea of celebrating because I am sick of having to commemorate things that occur on one day a year. Think about it, though. After Christmas, Christmas does not matter until Christmas comes again. The same is with Easter, Hanukkah, birthdays, any celebratory day.

What we really should be celebrating during those times though is our love for one another, yet some people have lost touch with that. Some people favor gifts, foods, alcohol more than love, and this is what tears me away from wanting to commemorate. I want to love first, not prioritize what Target or Wal-Mart find important. I do not care about money or deals or bargains or gifts, for that matter. I care for the thought. I care for that little voice that whispers, 'hey you, I see you, this is another year and we are still here, come and share in the celebration with me', not the voice which screams 'BARGAINS, COME AND TAKE A GIFT AND GIVE ME MINE I MISS YOU.'

But no. People lose touch of themselves and of others, of the true reason to celebrate another commemoration. Rather than commemorating the event we should daily commemorate our lives, our needs and yearnings and our respect for one another. I am surely not the only person surrounded by family feuds in this festive season and it is quite sad to know so. It is sad to know that some people place all of their energy into hatred rather than love.

Until I am surrounded by utter love, I will not celebrate. I will, subtly, but internally there will be no commemoration. I will cherish my time here but I will not celebrate silly things that people fight with themselves over. Until the two ladies fighting over a toaster at the mall each year stop, and learn that the toaster does not matter, my mindset will not change.

Love yourself, love everyone and you will love life and find that life is the only thing one should celebrate.

Parental Attachment and Dependency in Lebanese Children

In the wild, baby animals are generally weaned by their mothers for an average of nine months, depending on what sort of animal they are, and then they are released, so to speak, into the utter wild, with nobody to fend for them but themselves. Whatever danger comes their way becomes their own problem, for now their parents can move on with their lives and find whatever prey to slay, this time for personal consumption rather than the lowest rations, because their babies would have been prioritised.

This is the same way with Australian mothers and children. Children are usually housed until they are eighteen years of age, after which they are gifted a key by several people to indicate their freedoms and to boost their hopes that one day they too can afford a house of their own and to pay for their own phone bills and cook their own chicken parmagiana with a side serving of peas and carrots, and to afford to pay for the electricity so that the can enjoy some shrimp on the barbecue and to watch a round of football on the television after removing an icy cold bottle of VB beer.

However, with wogs, Lebanese people in particular, things for children do not quite flow in this manner. Darwinism is eliminated and rewritten, in that the child, child meaning a son or daughter aged between zero and whatever age they are before they wed a suitor who the parents fall in love with before he or she does, has only two predators: their father or mother, depending on who wears the pants in the marriage when they are angry with the child, or anything in the 'outside world', illicit or totally legal, such as clubbing, Australian children or peers, public transport, alcohol, driving at nighttime, driving in the daytime, driving in the afternoon, not wearing socks or using an ATM machine to withdraw cash without the protection of the child's grandmother. There are many more predators out there, and unfortunately, due to the many types of wogs and beliefs in the world, the list of these predators is too long to mention. It is thus safer, in the Lebanese version of Darwinism, for the child to remain indoors and eat things wrapped in pita bread and to be molly-coddled until a rather exquisite wedding ring states otherwise.

There is no mere weaning in a Lebanese household - there is a constant spying and feasting and nagging and never-ending sadness about things such as out of date food or the latest bombing victims sprawled on live television or missing an episode of a Spanish show that is dubbed in Arabic, even though the missing of this episode will not leave the viewer confused because each episode is a dramatic reenactment of each prior episode - and, mind you, in the viewing of these episodes, the Lebanese child must too watch it and enjoy it even if they speak and understand a dialect which differs from the one being spoken in the series.

The Lebanese child must not argue, and must take into accordance every claim made by their parents as a fact, such as the Lebanese people differentiating from Arabs, the Lebanese people inventing the wheel, the Lebanese people inventing language, the number system and the alphabet, the Lebanese people inventing all good foods and deserts, the Lebanese people being the people of the Lord Jesus and the Lord Jesus being the only leader of religion for any other religion is a demonic one even if Christianity branches into several types and Lebanese people are all different types - all other claims by other cultures are simply false if they claim that they begun either of these great things, for their creations are simply derivatives from all creations by the Lebanese people. 

Lebanese people are not the wagers of war, it is some other form of people that began war and Lebanese people simply have no capabilities or intentions of performing any acts of violence, even though they cluster in gangs in Australia and shank anything with a pair of eyes that ponder near them for a duration of two seconds.

Lebanese children, apart from having a dependence on their parents, also have a dependence on welfare and insurance claims. Centrelink sponsors their vehicular customizations and the acquiring of their three-white-striped pants and nightly meals at McDonald's which follows their meals at home cooked fresh daily for painstaking hours, but I suppose all that hair needs a large amount of vitamins and nutrients from all food sources in order to maintain their Mediterranean shine.

Holidays such as New Years, Christmas, Easter and even Birthdays become a blessing for Lebanese children and their financial statuses because apart from Centrelink, they also are sponsored by their grandparents' pension money. These money-giving times also may happen on weekends, or after the Lebanese child taking their grandmother shopping or dropping their grandfather off at the horse races. The money is usually found lying around curled in their grandparents' old socks, or tucked away in the storage compartments of their sofa-beds. This money may arrive into the hands of the Lebanese children smelling mouldy, but that is just because they have been tucked away for so long, hidden from any source of fingers or light. 

The money Lebanese children have, despite from whence it came, must be spent wisely, and there is no better way to do that than to haggle down the prices of things which have already had their prices reduced due to them being sale items, located in the sale basket, a place where all Lebanese inhabitants of earth enjoy thriving. Although most that they purchase from this place are things that they do not need, their purchase will still please the Lebanese people simply because they are things which have been haggled down twice. They do not, during this time of haggling, take into account the humiliation that their children feel. A sale item reduced to two-dollars must be reduced even more, no matter how loud their voices must go. They fail to keep their claims said to the shopkeepers about five dollars being the only amount they have, because of the fact that their Gucci handbags are full of fifty-dollar notes.

Over-feeding, multiple-cousin support systems, and hundreds of gifted bottles of perfumes are amongst most things that come with being a dependent Lebanese child. While I am indeed dependent, I will enjoy every minute because life as good as this does not come to any other culture.

The Ingeniousy of Mistletoes

"The mistletoe is still hung up in farm-houses and kitchens at Christmas, and the young men have the privilege of kissing the girls under it, plucking each time a berry from the bush. When the berries are all plucked the privilege ceases."

The quote above is from 'The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent' by Washington Irving, published in the 1820s. It describes the act of kissing under the mistletoe, and is most possibly the first written account of it. For people like me who cannot 'get lucky' in ways to do with acts of lovemaking because of a list of future spouse must-have characteristics, skills and investments longer than Santa Clause's 'Nice or Naughty' list, one thing becomes our saviour during this particular holiday period, and that is the Mistletoe. It is customary for couples during Christmas time to kiss underneath a Mistletoe. From whence it began, not most know, however I write today in an attempt to inform those lacking the knowledge of the origins of this ingenious act. 

Starting out as a mere Christmas decoration, some people claim that this lovely tradition began in Norse Mythology. Frigg the goddess had a son, Baldr, and at his birth Frigg had told all the plants to not hurt him, overlooking the Mistletoe. Then, the mischievous god Loki had tricked another God into murdering Baldr with a spear made out of Mistletoe. Baldr died, and of course, was eventually brought back to life, and so Frigg simply somehow told the Mistletoe to bring love instead of death. To commemorate Baldr's resurrection and to obey Frigg's decision, people began to kiss under the Mistletoe - perhaps even to protect themselves from the evil Loki.

Another theory claims that back in the age of the Babylonian-Assyrian Empire, outside of the temple for the goddess of beauty and love, there hung a Mistletoe. Single women would stand underneath it, waiting for single men to approach them. Once approached, they bonded - but did not kiss - beneath it. Back in these historical times, people believed that the Mistletoe had supernatural powers - that it ultimately promoted fertility, and its leaves were an aphrodisiac. These people had to get back to their homes before they could test out how fertile the Mistletoe had left them.

For this reason, Mistletoes were also a part of marriages. Couples would have them placed underneath their beds, and the Mistletoes would have to endure every squeak of the couples' springs for the rest of their lives, and all of the other noises which came with that. Soon after, England adopted this practice and young men and women would kiss beneath a Mistletoe, and pick a berry afterwards. After all the berries were picked, it would be bad luck to kiss beneath that certain Mistletoe. These kisses were not for an enjoyable time, though, they were kisses of serious commitment, and marriage had normally followed. If an innocent single man wondered underneath a Mistletoe and a crazy single woman had happened to be standing beneath it, that man would have had to work twice as much to ensure that she had a wedding ring and a rather exquisite new fur coat every three weeks. These men would have hoped that the Mistletoe was not bearing any berries.

This brings me to the reason as to why I write about the glorious Mistletoe today. I know I am not the first person to think of this, and I will not be one to carry it out seeing as I am only celebrating Christmas with direct relatives and the end result will prove disastrous and incestuous, however it can be a great tip for those celebrating Christmas time with randoms. Dress as an old English woman or man, depending on your preference, of course, and attach a fresh Mistletoe to a hat. Make sure, though, that is hangs well above your head so that chosen future spouses will literally not see what is coming to them. And a tip, purchase a wedding ring beforehand because the chances are that they will not agree to this entire prospect. This way, half of the work is done and they will most likely be with you for a while.

So now that you are aware of the origins of the Mistletoe and its ingeniousity, please use it to your utter advantage. Fear no fiend, kiss all at sight. You never know what could happen this special Christmas night!

                                                                                                                                                                                         
References:

Wikipedia: [http://en.wikipedia.org/]

The Origin of the Striped Bent Sticks of Goodness, also known as Candy Canes

For years people have been giving and receiving candy canes in the duration of Christmas time. And for years, people have been doing it mindlessly, paying no attention to the origins from which the candy cane had sprung.

For years mothers hung them on Christmas trees – children picked them from the Christmas trees and ate them – toddlers suckled on them after receiving them from their teachers – other toddlers threw them at their peers because of the utter confusion involved with being handed a candy cane near Christmas time. I am suckling on one as I type as I also share the mind of the confused toddler. The reality is though, that wherever there is a candy cane there is no reason, besides the obvious pointing out of the nearing event, Christmas. No explanation either, other than “It was on sale at [name of nearest and cheapest store] and the box looked cute.”

I wonder if anybody has bothered to ponder the origins of the sweet, bent sensation that dances with their taste buds. Why is it, arguably, other than Santa Clause and his gigantic stomach, a beacon of Christmas? Why is it that strangely bent shape, and why, with the shape making it slightly difficult to eat, has no confectionary leader decided to straighten out this sweet rod of goodness to aid children in consuming it?

Children eat this strange shape regardless. They find their ways around things, and adapt. I break off the curvy part and consume piece by piece in order to avoid my mouth from sticking together. However the reasons behind the shape of the candy cane are strongly related to its origins.

Over three-hundred and fifty years ago, candy-makers around the world had made white hard sugar sticks. It was not until after children became restless and irate during long Christmas masses that these candy-makers decided to take one step closer to more money – what better way to do this than to bribe parents to pay in order to bribe their children to save them the humiliation during Christmas masses? So they gave children these white hard sugar-sticks, however the candy-makers had bent the tops to stick with the theme of Christmas, so that the sticks became canes representing a Shepherd’s staff.

This happened in the seventeenth century, in the Cologne Cathedral in Germany. It spread through Europe, then, of course, fluttered over to America, where decorations began to fill in the dull white colour of the candies. In fact, the first historical reference which depicted candy canes being associated with Christmas in America happened in 1847, when August Imgard, a German immigrant, had decorated his Christmas tree with these sensational bent candies. I suppose then Australians thought this was awesome because America did, and the rest of the world copied America too, thus the wonderful white bent stick of glory was made.

Its stripes, though, have two alleged reasons – the first, well, the red stripes on the white sticks were cool and why not? Maybe it will sell more candies – the second reason though, is where things get heated: apparently the red symbolizes blood and the white purity, the actual shape of the candy was a ‘J’ to symbolize the first letter of the one and only Jesus.

Whatever the actual reason behind the stripes though, the candy cane is still available today. It is a vital representation of Christmas, amongst other  overly-priced ornaments and under-priced nativity scenes depicting deformed faces and donkeys which look like drugged sheep.

Candy canes are delicious, and now come in varied flavours and colours. Even though they were never handed out to me during my restlessness in Church when I was younger, I still adore them. In fact, I just went through my fourth one tonight.

Now that you are aware of the origins of the Candy Cane, go and suckle on the nearest one and think of the joy those children felt back in 1670, amidst the cold restless night during a Christmas mass.

                                                                                                                                                                                         
References:
Wikipedia [en.wikipedia.org]