Blue is the Warmest Colour

Before viewing this film, I had expected a minor lesbian love story, viewed in a heterosexual perspective and I wondered what else they could add to the shallow at the time storyline. Then I viewed it, and my mental state was toppled.

Blue is the Warmest Colour follows two girls, one teenager and one young adult, as they fall in and out of steaming, hot love. It depicts several uncut sex scenes, in which heterosexual’s question “how do lesbians even have sex?” is answered, once, twice, thrice. I was wearing headphones whilst watching the movie, yet the moaning protruding from each actresses mouth had made me mute it for each entire sex scene. In all honesty, this movie felt like a pornography half the time. I was comforted to find out later that the actresses had some silicon shields placed over their genitals, seeing as they felt quite uncomfortable acting throughout these sometimes ten-day long sex scenes.

Its depiction of lesbian love was rather real, though. How explosive it is to be attracted to the same gender, how confusing it is, how repulsive the other gender becomes, and how one side of the relationship is accepting of the change whereas the other side is not.

I think that there is no need for the director, Abdellatif Kechiche to be deemed an ‘Arab persuading young French girls to take off their clothes’ – rather, he is a director who made the French girls work their ways up the ladder of exhaustion to bring the audience of the Cannes Film Festival a movie that is a deeper insight into the lesbian lifestyle than living through it themselves. Its intense scenes, whether it is fighting over cheating, fighting over accusations of lesbian love interests, the sex scenes or even the heartbreaking scene at the end in the art gallery, pulls the viewer by the earlobes and pulls them into a lifestyle that is followed by many.

I could see the exhaustion on the actress’ faces in most of the scenes. It was painful to see, and for the entirety of the three hours I was leaning on the edge of my computer seat, almost head-butting the screen, just to see whether things will or will not resolve between the main characters. Kechiche has captured something no heterosexual could ever capture as beautifully, and shaken the worlds of his audience.

Overall, Blue is the Warmest Colour is a must-see. It is an emotional rollercoaster, filled with love and hate and everything in between. It is the most accurate depiction of a love between two women and how fiery each experience may be, whether it is a good or bad one. Both Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos perform wonderfully in the film, and though they hated every second of the sex scenes, they made it look exceptionally real, to a point where it feels as though you are watching a lesbian couple making love in real life, while they are unaware of your existence.

Is Pharrell Williams a Vampire?

The most common search suggestion on Google at the moment, when you type 'Pharrell Williams' is the word 'vampire'. It is as though Google is playing some accusatory version of the game word association, almost forcing the world to contemplate whether or not baby-faced Pharrell is a drinker of human blood.

Whether or not he is a vampire, Pharrell still is a good singer, or rapper, or pretty boy, or whatever he is. Why should we shun a piece of eye-candy because of the allegation that he prefers drinking human blood rather than Mountain Dew? So be it, let him be the next Nosferatu, the next Dracula, the next Edward Cullen - so long as he stays far away from my neckline. I appreciate the fact that I am way out of his league, in this instance, otherwise I could have been a form of prey. Just like LGBT equality activists, if Pharrell is a vampire, soon we will have LVA rallies - Leave Vampires Alone rallies. We would have parades through our streets, with human supporters of vampires lying down on stretchers with tubes hanging out of their arms and their fellow vampires sucking some blood from the tube, their hands held high, palms in the form of fists, smiling as blood oozes down the sides of their lips. And maybe Obama might accept all vampires as one of us, in which case most other countries will not and maybe they will wave black flags with a crossed-out wooden stake on it to commemorate their fight for equality. 

Maybe even Google is part of the infamous Illuminati, and it is for some reason forcing us to accuse poor Pharrell over something barbaric, and utterly fictitious, unless of course he is a bat, so that he could lose the fame he had acquired with the help of the Illuminati because of possibly going against them? Perhaps they did not like it when he told the world that he stays up all night to 'Get Lucky'. Perhaps how good-looking he is is a reflection on how easy his life is with the help of the monetisation from the Illuminati, and they wanted to offer another explanation which deters fans from the Illuminati's existence - that Pharrell is a vampire. And this does not become difficult to believe, especially considering all of the oversized hats he has been wearing as of late, perhaps he is protecting his lovely skin from the light?

Maybe in the song 'Get Lucky', Pharrell was trying to imply something by telling us that he is 'up all night' - vampiric beings are, assuming their realness, like owls and bats, nocturnal. Maybe in a subtle way that hinders most of the types of fans of that type of song, in that it makes them think that Pharrell too enjoys staying up late for some sexual action, when really he is staying up late for some neck-suction action. The possibilities are endless when it comes to how sensational Pharrell looks at his seemingly inappropriate age of forty. Perhaps he is one of the lucky sorts of human beings with flawless genetics that allows him to age a lot slower than most. Pharrell has been asked if he is a vampire, to his face, and he replies with something a vampire would reply with: "No I am not." He then wishes to prove that he is not by being "willing to go on record saying that [he does not] drink people's blood", and that he simply looks a lot younger than he is because he "wash[es his] face". 

Ever since Pharrell Williams had claimed that washing his face makes him look younger, the sales in soaps and other hygiene products has sky-rocketed, even taking companies such as Dove and Lux to the top of the stocks on Wall Street. Thanks to Pharrell's allege vampirism, not only do we know the secret to immortality, but we also know that we can lay down at night with one less person wanting to suckle on our precious necks.