Breaking the Ice: Why this Saying is, in Itself, Broken

When I hear the cliché "break the ice", I panic. I panic not only because of its idiocy, I panic not only because of how inapplicable it is to my real life situations, but I panic because if breaking the ice really does involve one little thing like burping in front of the other or using a silly pick up line, then I have the entirety of Antarctica to break.

I find that I cannot confide entirely with others unless they are my direct family members - my sister, mostly, my mother and my father. There is no shame between my sister and I. We sometimes forget that we are nude in front of one another whilst in the middle of getting dressed and needing to address an imminent issue, despite the nude person usually always being me. And that is a norm in my family, not in front of my father of course, we do not have 'norms' like that, unlike the family recently discovered in New South Wales to have consisted of members created by the act of incest. No, our family simply believes that there are other gene pools out there that we must mix with - after marriage.

Regardless, though, what I am trying to say is that I have been brought up to believe that behaving in nasty manners such as vomiting or a diarrhoea attack or farting or loud burping are things that are embarrassing to one, but one will not be embarrassed about these things in front of family members, even if some of these things are natural or are inevitable at times. I have become so accustomed to that, that I cannot imagine doing any of these in front of another. And that should not be so - I should be able to express myself freely to others in every way. 

But diarrhoea is an embarrassing thing. Urinating next to someone in a public toilet stall is an embarrassing thing. A toilet bowl fart that happens in that public toilet while you are meant to be only urinating is an embarrassing thing. Vomiting unexpectedly. Leaking period blood. Forgetting to book a wax appointment. Being so sick and not being able to shower and having someone mistake your hair for being wet. All of these I take into consideration when I think of experiencing them in front of a person other than a direct family member.

Though I am ashamed to allow my perfectly normal bodily functions to do their part in front of outsiders, per se, I know that one day I will look back on this post and giggle hysterically as it will be a thing of my naive past. Until then, I will have to chip away parts of the North and South Pole of ice between myself and my future potential lover(s), otherwise the likeness of the Titanic will happen to me, but not in the sense of me breaking physically.