Running Taps

There exists nothing in this world as irritating than that of a tap which drip, drip, drips its way into the nighttime, each drip like a poke at your sides. And thankfully for me, in my family, it appears as though each member has a weak wrist when it comes to closing a tap correctly, despite the fact that they all have very strong grips.

And in juxtaposition to this lack of strength in the closing of sink taps, my family members seal tight the shower taps. Each time I go shower after another member, I have to wrestle a handle so as to bring forth the warmness of the hot water to stop my shivering. And it baffles me, it baffles me so, that someone can tighten the shower's handle so tight that it cannot be unscrewed, like the inability to remove the sword from the stone, I find myself sometimes unable to turn the shower taps on - perhaps next time I shall consult Arthur to assist me. He had his luck with the sword, maybe he can try his luck with my shower handles.

Yet the sink taps remain drip, drip dripping. One is dripping away as I type, but I have sent my mother over to diagnose the solution. I simply cannot stand listening to droplets of water smacking themselves against the bottom of the sink then hurrying down the drain. When I turn the tap on, water is not as loud as those droplets which seem to slip out of the faucet. Sometimes, actually all of the time, the droplets dripping annoy me, however when I think about closing the tap tighter to put an end to their freedom, I feel as though I am a strict politician.

Should these droplets deserve their freedom? Do they deserve rights? Perhaps each member of my family allows these droplets their rights and I am an evil dictator against the freedom of these translucent beings. Why do I deny them their liberty? Am I being selfish by taking into account my level of annoyance rather than their level of oppression? They work so hard to rush out the way they do, over my toothbrush, over my hands that I wipe my rear-end with, over my grotty fingers, yet I take them for granted. 

Even though I now feel sorry for these droplets, I still believe in their oppression until I believe it is time for them to be released. Bouncing out of the faucet at four in the morning, bouncing their bodily noises all the way into my bedroom and bouncing me away from sleep is simply unacceptable. They may have their freedom when I have grime to rid myself of. They may have their freedom when I have emptied my bowels. They may have their freedom when my face is burning with the effects of humidity. But they may most definitely not have their freedom when I am trying to beg my insomnia to dissipate. 

It is as though the tap's drip drip dripping is music to my insomnia's ears. It dances to the beat of those droplets, and by continuing to fall, the droplets are forcing my insomnia to join them for an eternal waltz. This romantic inconvenience should play no part in a household whose inhabitants struggle to keep up with the fast motion of capitalism and all capitalistic requirements, which include sleeping at early hours to wake up at early hours. Perhaps water droplets are a government initiative sent out in order to test who really cares for capitalism and who does not. 

Join me in my fight to end the war between weak wrists and water droplets. Strengthen the wrists of your family members by enforcing them to close the taps the way they close the shower taps. 'We want you', tell them, 'we want you to join us in the oppression of water droplets'. Do not let capitalism test you.