Societal Trust Issues

From a very young age, I have had the flaws of society drilled into my mind by the cultural values of my parents. And now that I'm developing within this so-called flawed society, I have verified some flaws and picked up so many others. 

Now I hate society. My fear has pushed me to do so, and so has my somewhat limited experience with society itself, with its varied people and its varied ways, some ways which I certainly do not approve of yet those ways are the ways of conformity and I also certainly do not conform in the areas which I try not to conform to. Because of this lack of conformity within my society I am blanketed by an invisible force, a force one cannot reckon with unless they join it in unison. 

But I shall continue resisting. Resistance is indicative of strength and I will hold onto that sense of strength for it may be the only strong sense that I can control. A sense of control is lacking within those who choose to conform, therefore I shall not conform. I shall never conform. Inevitably, there will be some things I will end up conforming to such as having a job and keepin that job by abiding by its little laws and regulations, though like everything, once I receive some authoritative status I will have control over the sense of controlling which tries to hold me down, like my current state. 

At university I have agency over most of my presentations. I have presented in ways most have never dared, such as when I performed my research conclusions in the form of a rap. This excites me and those who ask for conformity, and those who are victims to it entirely. I am not entirely a victim, for there are some aspects of myself that it cannot gain power over. 

This was also the case back in high school. I rarely wore my school dress or skirt simply because I was more comfortable wearing track pants. I saw nothin wrong with it. Track pants did not impact on my grades and they did not impact on my behaviour in a negative manner.  In fact, all they did was ensure my warmth and with that I was content. Some authoritative figures did not accept this refusal of conformity, yet I pushed on and today I stand strong with my sense of clothing style despite what is expected of an educator to wear. 

Conformity is uglier than its very recipients. I suppose that what I am trying to say is that I cannot conform thus I cannot successfully belong to a society which wills me to.