Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Extinction of True Friendship

We spend much of our time talking about "who our true friends are" when we should be focusing on the opposite. Allow me to tell you who they are not.

Your true friends are not those who look at your ambitions and decide to shun you from their lives because you now make them feel 'intimidated' since you yourself have been liberated from your anxiety and depression to create a sense of identity that they never had the chance or the sense of individuality to even develop. They are merely clones and if they are cloned from a source that cannot be described as a true friend then they themselves are not a true friend either.

Your true friends are not those who, once they find a significant other, decide to make you insignificant. Yes, everyone requires the fondling of their genitals but you should never forget those who fondled your very emotions, who filled your soul with air again so it may take flight after a long period of darkness and deflation. True friends realize that they were in your shoes one day, that they too went through a phase where nobody loved them and that you were there for them, but they do not realize that and then make themselves unavailable for a mere cup of coffee.

And most importantly, your true friends are not those who judge you by your image. Your outside is a mere exoskeleton of skin, hair and pores, and those aspects do not define you. You are defined by what is within and if they cannot see through your exoskeleton then they do not deserve a sighting of you. They do not deserve the praising of their ambitions, the affection you still so willingly give as you are in denial of their unrequited true friendship, and they certainly do not deserve a mention in your thoughts. Restructure your way of thinking and aim it towards those who deserve it.

It is sad that people like myself have to tread on through life with a limited amount of true friends, and it is especially sad when the reasons as to why this is so are unknown, but what is known that I have not a treacherous personality nor do I gain any sort of happiness from the sadness or hurting of others, yet it is so that I carry on with a limited supply of those who offer their shoulders in times of condolences. It is not that I do not appreciate this limited number, it is that I prefer reasons behind actions and all I want to know is, why? I suppose it feels slightly better not knowing a reason but at the same time it is thought-wrenching. Had I acted horribly towards these certain people, I would accept the situation and move on. I know that I, however, did not, and I stand by my word as the word of truth, and it is then I wonder why, and why and why again.

I am assuming that it is indeed because of my weight. I am assuming that because of my weight, these certain people feel the need to be drawn away in the event of having to pass over something that I am not willing to partake in, like a luscious night out at a club in a short dress and high heels, followed by a raunchy night spent in a hotel room near that club with one or more men met at that club.

I do not partake in these activities because I do not believe in the sexual giving of myself ritually, and I still am holding onto that notion that somebody deserves my all. I do not believe that I will meet that somebody in a club, simply because I choose not to go clubbing – why would I find the somebody of my dreams in a place I would never be?


It is all a concoction of silly reasons. Silly reasons that hurt, that isolate and that distances. And those silly reasons, unfortunately, are a part of some of our lives, and this is why I am writing this, my dear reader, to you, so that you do not feel the sense of betrayal I felt that day around five years ago. It is an abhorrent feeling and one that I hope never happens to anybody else. Be fruitful in the fertility of your happiness, let it spread and multiply beyond all those who spite you for whatever silly reason. True friendship is indeed extinct in most cases. Fight to keep the ones you still have alive, only if they deserve to be.

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