The Ice Bucket Challenge

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I would like to take a moment to show my appreciation of all of society's role models who have taken the time to create and share on their social media sites videos of themselves having buckets of ice floating in water poured onto them.

I would like to show my appreciation to the 28 million people who have actively taken part in the latest band-wagon craze, that has surprisingly not yet been the leading cause of the rapid increase of pneumonia - I await the news headline for that. 

I would like to show my appreciation to all those who have made themselves prone to the acquisition of pneumonia by dousing themselves in icy cold water in order to avoid contributing money to the charity responsible for finding the cure of Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, formally known on all social media platforms, or formally known, rather, as of late, out of absolutely nowhere, as 'ALS'.

And we have this buffoon to thank - Chris Kennedy, a golfer from Sarasota:

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This man thought it was necessary to perform this strange act to raise awareness for 'ALS' - how? Quite frankly, I do not know. I am hypothesising that temperatures have soared so much so in America that most of its population now finds it necessary to have an icy shower and peer pressure from the sharing of the recordings of these showers have created the reenactment of this in countries all over the world, like my own, Australia, who is currently suffering from temperatures probably lower than the temperature of the icy cold water itself, otherwise known as 'winter'.

But really. I appreciate all of those celebrities whose videos continue to flood my news feed on Facebook. It is so nice to see fresh drinking water being put to good use! Who needs all that water, anyway? It is perfectly fine, it is not like we need to walk for kilometers and fetch it from a well and walk all the way back to our homes in order to share the bucket of water we walked so long for with the rest of the members in our family who are dying of malnutrition and the lack of food but need to maintain their water levels just to see another sunrise. No. Not at all. By all means, please, let us all join hands in harmony and waste water, film it, upload it and watch scientists look into microscopes that will assist them in finding the cure for ALS, a disease that kills two Americans per hundred thousand a year, because who cares about the 5 million Africans who die every year from hunger and thirst, an average of ten every minute? Certainly not former president George Bush. Nor does Bill Gates - but then again, Bill Gates cares for nobody.

I look forward to seeing more of these 'ice bucket challenge' videos - maybe one of those videos will actually contain a person who cares for the cause and not for the publicity! I hope we continue to film them until plants overrun the planet and they eat humans because of the lack of water left. Bathe, precious humans, bathe in the greed of your benefits and sense of denial.