Clinical Small Talk

Just about almost every type of doctor I have visited has inquired about not only my interests but my sense of direction in life, whether it be my general practitioner or some sort of specialist or surgeon. 

Today I had an appointment with my former surgeon and current head specialist. I sought after him in order to maintain with myself that there is something wrong with my sinus. This man had operated on me when I was seven years old, and he took away my Tamagotchi while I was being anaesthetised; to this day, I have yet to be reunited with it and it pains me so considering they are now worth well over thrice their original recommended retail price - but that, of course, is besides the point. This man has not met with me ever since I was a lost and confused seventeen year old about to graduate from high school. I do not remember what we discussed but I doubt it had anything to do with future plans.

"I first met you as a little girl, then as a teenager, and now... You're a woman!" Yes, doctor, it appears that way but please do not ask me - "so what are you doing with yourself?" 

"I am studying the bachelor of education." 

"Ah, yes, nice! And what are your main focuses?" 

"English and art."

"So you enjoy English?" 

"Yes. I do."

Why the small talk? Why the unnecessary discussion of future plans that are not quite intact? What defines a woman? Why does my path matter? This small talk reminds me of the awkward talks that one has with a former college acquaintance on the worst of days in the shopping centre whilst one attempts to ironically avoid all sorts of people. 

While it may very much appear as though I know the direction that I am headed, well, considering that I am now "a woman", I do not. Life has continued to take me on all sorts of twists and turns and though I once feared this, I am beginning to enjoy it. My varied academic endeavours have not placed me on a set path and this assists me in ridding my life of the one thing that I loathe the most: repetition. Life is strange, it should be embraced with a 'go with the flow' sort of  way. And the people who interrupt this flow are people like doctors.  

They are so certain of their lives from the set path they have taken in order to heal and repair, that thy rub their authenticity on the faces of others. And this does not necessarily only relate to doctors, rather all sorts of professionals in any trade: hairdressers, waiters, beauticians, checkout clerks, bakers, butchers. It is as though they assert their authenticity when they ask for a sense of yours and they grow when they find out that you do not have one. 

So I wonder if I am truly set out to be an educator, or is this path created in the current in order to tell these professionals that I too have a sense of authenticity of my own to assert?