Kickstart

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For many, university is a place of academia, a step closer to achieving a career goal, and a leap deeper into student debt. That mixture is what I aim for, however what I consider university to be to me is a kickstart back on track with my life.

When I am on a break from university, I feel as though my life is jumbled up. I fall out of any routine that I once had, and I ruin my sleeping and eating patterns. I lose myself again. All the gain that I would have gathered from every sense of my wellbeing flies away from my grip, and I again fall into the well of despair that I annually attempt to pull myself out of.

I celebrate the coming of holidays as much as any other student, though. I finally acquire headspace. I start plotting places to go, things to do, things to see, road trips and projects and such, and I indeed pursue them - the thing is that  pursue them all too fast and they are over early, leaving a lot of time for me to, yes, procrastinate.

I suppose then any course that I choose to undertake in the future, including the courses I have taken and the course that I am taking, are utterly worth the price that I one day must pay back. Along with paying for an access to education, I am paying to get my life together. I am paying for clarity, for direction, for self-worth. 

I have met amazing professionals, most of which still communicate with me to this day. I have been reborn as someone that I never saw myself as being. When I was eighteen years old, I had no idea what I wanted to do, and if one asked me where I saw myself in ten years I would have honestly replied with death. I was in a bad place, mentally, and I saw no light at the end of the tunnel I caught myself in. I did not see a way out, I did not see any educative possibilities. I thought that I would acquire a job and live off whatever job I acquired - I had no luck. I thought that I could live off youth allowance, and I did for a while until they required me to either get a job or study. I went job-hunting again and failed, so I decided to enrol in any mere course. I chose Professional Writing and Editing.

I loved that course, but I was highly distracted with my youth and my inner confusion. I did not know who I was, and I still had no sense of direction. I dropped out of that course when I had not long left to complete it, and sought after Information Technology. I flourished in it. I was the only girl, and that was to my advantage because I always had help whenever I needed it. I excelled in web design, programming and project management - I was beginning to see myself as in I.T. expert, until I had a networking class. I tried to pass but failed, and again, gave up on the course. Then I was stranded.

Until the Diploma of Education Studies came along. I was surprised that I had gotten into it, and I did not take the first semester seriously at all. Something then lit up inside of me when I heard the possibility of being able to get into the Bachelor of Education if I pass the diploma. I suddenly wanted that opportunity. I me into that diploma thinking that I could never get into university, and then I was given the option, and I took that option by the reigns and steered it in one direction: up. Now, I am pleased to say that I am excelling in what I do, and I am enjoying what I do.

But I want more. I hunger for more. The Bachelor has given me a kickstart into the educative life, and it has pushed me to want much more than a teaching job at a local high school. I want to study beyond this and hopefully lecture. I have a dream that one day I will walk into a lecture theatre and place my powerpoint presentation up on the projector and talk about that topic for a whole hour, and later go in-depth for three or so hours. I am education hungry, and I have university to thank for that, for now it has kickstarted my realistic career goals.

Give whatever you doubt a chance, because sometimes the things you doubt turn out to be the things that you need. They could be the colour your life is missing. Unless of course those things are drugs, cigarettes or alcohol, because, you know, they are not good for you.