Horses Wearing Blinkers Whilst Driving

It appears as though every time I decide to visit a shopping centre, something somewhat potentially chaotic occurs.

I would like to re-emphasise that I was at a shopping centre when this incident occurred, not a farm, orchard, nor paddock. I approached the pedestrian crossing, a couple of minutes after jokingly saying to my sister that pedestrian crossings are burial grounds, when all of the sudden a horse raced past, just as I had set my foot on the lined path. I immediately withdrew any part of my body which momentarily strayed from the footpath in a panic, and yelled out, “are you a horse?”

Indeed so - I had just asked a lady, really loudly, if she was a horse - because like a horse wearing blinkers, she raced through the pedestrian crossing that I was about to cross, without bothering to look and stop. She neighed in reply and galloped off into the industrial-smelling carpark. If only I merely received a neigh in response. Instead, as though she actually were wearing blinkers, she did not even bother turning her head, nor her eyes. She trotted on through the other three pedestrian crossings in the same way.

The amount of times I have said 'goodness me' instead of a very bad swear word today should have me rewarded three times my height in a pirate's gold. How I managed to control my temper and not chase her car nor leave a massive inverted dent in her boot’s door, I will never know. Every time I vow never to display anger problems in public, I am given reasons to back out of that vow and figuratively rip my mouth in half with vile words like Hulk Hogan on a swearing rampage. And today, it was a horse-person who brought out the Hulk inside of me.

For a split second, in fact, I believe I almost turned green. My skin colour began to react to my anger in response to almost getting wiped out by a crazy menopausal woman wearing horseshoes. Had the government placed any more warning signs reading ‘pedestrian crossing’ and ‘slow down’, nobody would accelerate within the proximity of the shopping centre. In fact, they would park their cars at home and walk, not paying attention to the possible long distance they would have to endeavor.

I hope that next time I choose to walk on a pedestrian crossing, that the people driving cars towards the crossing are not horses. I sincerely hope that they pay attention to the fact that a person of my size, wearing such bright colours is crossing on a path where it is legal for a person like me to press charges against a horse like the woman for not allowing me a safe passage and potentially running me over.

Please, if you choose to drive, remember that you are not carrying a jockey nor pulling a wagon in the wild west. You are a cognitive human. Act so.