Preposterous Portable Pools

Preposterous portable pools prefer to go anything but according to plan – they will in fact plan one thing, and that is to sabotage your best efforts when you attempt to use them to retain a cool body temperature during times which prove it difficult otherwise.

Portable pools are high quality products for a low price. This low price reels the customers in, and they unknowingly purchase this plastic bargain in hopes of using little water and little space when they return home. And that is where things go from relatively normal to utterly disastrous. One should never underestimate, at whatever cost, the amount of water one needs to fill a pool with the capacity of three-thousand and six-hundred litres. One is mistaken to think that this amount of water can come out of a hose at full speed, under ten minutes, the same way that one is mistaken when they read the box and it claims that the total amount of time for preparing the pool and its hoses and filling it with water will only take ten minutes, unless of course one counts in dog years.

Be prepared to soak yourself in drowned, freshly deceased bugs, leaves and the germs of any other member in the pool with you this summer if you invest in a portable ‘family’ pool. Though it is claimed that your entire family can fit and, according to the box, quite comfortably play water games, it is told with complete lies like the story about the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Clause that your mother used to fill you with when you were young enough to believe everything you hear. One falls into a trance of total dismay when they realize that half their family members can fit in the pool, especially if one is from a Middle Eastern descent, wherein one swims with a maximum of two other family members, preferably the younger and thinner ones, otherwise one runs the risk of swimming in thick, black Arabian hairs.

From the amount of time it takes to actually construct the pool, the weather will most likely change, dropping around ten degrees Celsius, and it will, depending on your luck, possibly begin to rain. The entirety of the idea of a pool, therefore, becomes quite ludicrous, and one begins to question why they even spent their hard-earned money on a project that has gone to waste like last night’s dinner when it became engrossed in one’s bowel, and soon after, bowel movements.

Above all it is quite upsetting when one plans to do something that does not quite work out as planned, such as an inexperienced camper believing they can, an hour before nightfall, pitch their tent with total ease, and they are proven wrong when a bear comes by and consumes them because they are so angry from failing at pitching their tent that they pay no attention to the big grizzly bear’s rumbling stomach behind them. And they sit in pieces, in the grizzly bear’s pit of a stomach and as they are doused with the stomach chemicals, wonder what went wrong. Well, the fact that they overestimated their, lack of, skills, was what went wrong. And now it is too late to do anything because they are halfway to being totally digested. They have failed, they have been ingested, and now they are digested. They should have thought this plan through a little better before pursuing it. This is the same thing that happens when one purchases a portable pool that claims its readiness is ‘ezy’, and they have had no prior knowledge about pools and how ridiculously difficult they are to create, prepare and maintain.

One can suppose that the only true benefit of a portable pool is the amount of money one saves by not purchasing bug spray, seeing as bugs unwillingly fall into your pool of doom and drown to death. Another possible benefit would be that one finally found something to spend that rotten twenty dollars on, the same twenty dollars that one could not find anything to buy. Other than that, it is not quite advised that one should endeavor on the journey of purchasing a so-called ‘ezy’ portable pool because nothing about it or your painful journey with it actually is ‘ezy’.

Before one rushes to purchase a portable pool, and before they are tempted by the alluringly low price of it, one must realize that it is a terrible mistake to go through with a transaction involving a portable pool, because portable pools are nothing but preposterous.